Tuesday, November 29, 2016

A Thank You



In the words of Adele, "Hello, how are you? It's so typical of me to talk about myself; I'm sorry. I hope that you're well."

And it's true. I really, really do care about you. Life is overwhelming as always, full of decisions like marbles falling on cold tile I cannot scoop back up. But life isn't in sepia anymore. It is a rainbow I am reaching for with stronger arms every day. 

Before I try to start promising posts , telling my story at the moment, or describing my current mood, I just wanted to say thank you. 

I am a complete mess. Dirty. Laundry undone. Dishes left in a sink of lukewarm water. Clumsy as the tightrope I fell off when I tripped and lost my self-esteem. Unpredictable--a sunshower on a hot August day. A sponge, squeezing itself out, hands wringing my grievances and pains on your kitchen and all over your face. 

And you listen. You wear patience like a tailored jacket. You hold me in your pockets, polishing me as one does a gemstone, making me shine. You accept my offerings of dirt and borrowed fragment of star, the broken teeth and leftover honey. 

It is with salt, sediment and grain coming from my eyes, I say thank you. Thank you for your love, without which, I would be an empty, unvisited shoreline, a door overgrown with black mold. 

I cling to your coat tails. Don't walk too fast. 


You never do. 

Love,
MourningGlory
 

 
 
 

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Life In The Not-So Tragic Kingdom

First off, I think we should acknowledge my reference to Gwen Stefani in the title.

Sure, she's totally hot now, but I miss the old days-belly shirts, bangs, face piercings, overly-plucked brows, and 90s AWESOMENESS. 

Case in point:




But the point of this post is, that although I post a lot about depression and struggling with certain feelings after my disability, my situation is, in fact, not tragic. At all.

Frustrating? Tedious? Time-consuming? Embarrassing? Physically and emotionally draining?

Oh, yes. Ohhhh, yes. 

But when I really think about it, it's kind of ridiculous how spoiled I am. I mean, I literally have servants come to my house that prepare my food for me, help bathe me, blow dry my hair if I want them to, dress me, put my shoes on, etc. Did you know that back in the day, the royal family in China made people FEED them?!

So yeah, I'm pretty much royalty. I don't even have to walk for myself; I have a $50,000 machine does it for me.

I started coming to this conclusion when I was telling a new friend of mine about what happened. She asked me and I told her the story in complete detail. For some reason, people assume that I would have a hard time talking about it. Which makes sense, actually. But considering the fact that I don't remember any of it, the actual accident part, it's not traumatizing at all. Plus, it seems like a lifetime ago. Like it wasn't me at all.

After I had told her the story, she said, "Seriously?!? That's ALL you've got?! I'll tell you about tragedy. And if I were you, I would embellish that sh*t. Add in some flying monkeys or something."

And not only was it hilarious, it's true.

There are people in this world who are sold into sex trafficking and used over and over again until they die, orphans who die without food or medical care all over the world, children who watch their entire families be murdered in front of them, people who will start to death, people who will never have a home, food, or shelter. Not to mention the people that get paralyzed in other countries and don't have the resources that I have.

And yeah, it still sucks. But overall, it's a first-world problem. I often get sucked into the "Facebook comparison game," which I thought was silly.

Until I watched this....

Every night before I go to bed, I always look around at all the things I have in my room, that are so silly and excessive, the fact that I am sleeping in a warm bed with a full stomach, and can't help but feel almost guilty.

I laugh a lot, and although I don't get to see people very much, I definitely have people and family that love, encourage, and constantly support me.





I also have the free time to do ridiculous things like the following. 

This is my costume for one video we did. My mother came home and found me sitting in the basement like this and asked me if I was having a Bette Davis meltdown. She was legitimately concerned. I don't blame her. 

Signed,
MourningGlory xoxo

But I'm a rebel.

PS. I still need help fixing my blog layout!!!